Sunday, July 02, 2017
Its been almost a year since I have last written. Things have changed quite a bit over the past 12 months. I now am a mom, have a house out in the suburbs of Portland, and I have a boyfriend. Crazy how the time flies and what can happen in just a short period of time. I look back at my last post that was written and cant help but to laugh at the questions that were asked that are now answered. I put something out in the universe and it came back full circle with an answer. Not just an answer but with actions.
I have the most beautiful baby boy, his name is Orion Lawrence Mack-Oviatt. I decided to have a double last name as Ryan and I are not married and for traveling purposes. I wonder what the future holds with Ryan and I. We get closer each day and it really makes me believe that I finally have my happy ending after all these years.
Posted at 1:30 am by macleanoviatt
Tuesday, July 05, 2016
Sometimes you're reminded that the only person that you truly can count on is yourself. In the passing months I have come to realize that there are some hard roads to cross in the incoming weeks ahead. Can I put past these feelings and just get out there and do what I need to do for myself? I feel like sometimes you wrapped up in the moment and it takes stepping out of the bubble to comprehend what is the best plan. I wonder will I still be living in Oregon? Will I finally get past all the debt in my life? Can I bring my self to be more motivated? Can I get back into shape? Can I actually have another true relationship that I can be excited about and them about me? Will I find the career, the perfect house to call my own? Is this what your late twenties look like...I bunch of what ifs and questions. I wish that I could find the answers I am looking for. Someday.
Posted at 6:37 pm by macleanoviatt
Monday, December 17, 2012
Isnt it funny how the things that people do to you can impact you in some pretty strange ways. Like when you think you know something and are completely off base. When something so small can effect the way you think about life and they dont even know it. CRAZY There must be a way to tune this occurance out without having to shut your whole world down. Maybe its just a lesson that I have to learn. It takes time to realize the things that go on around you, especially when you let your emotions lead before your head. Enough venting its time to move on. I had a clear vision that was handed to me last week and I keep leading astray from that and am not sure why. I need to have some nights to myself and figure things out again. How do I quite the thinking...There must be something.
Posted at 7:00 pm by macleanoviatt
Thursday, September 06, 2012
Sometimes your reminded of things, people, or events that have taken place in your life that you never thought would bring back a strong connection later on in life. Today is one of those days for me. Sitting here alone, I'm reminded of what used to be and the events that lead me to where I am today. Its been a while since I have sat down and written something that wasn't for a grade, and it feels pretty good. There has been so much going on in my life the past few years that I needed to take a moment to write them all out and really think about it. Theres somedays where I just want to run, and run and run and run and not look back. Its hard though. I dont know why I get into these funks when im living such an amazing life here in colorado. Im where I want to be, doing exactly what I wanted to do, but there is still something missing and I just cant figure out what it is. I cant stop wanting to fill that lonely gap and its killing me, not only that but probably getting me into trouble. There is this boy that I have had my eye on, who has a girlfriend. With that being said I cant just text him or call him and ask to hang out friends or not. Weird situation to be in. I spent 3 days in a row with this guy staying up till the wee hours of the morning just talking about life and everything that makes us tick. It was nice, and ive never had that ability to do that with anyone before. Its like I didnt care what time it was or what i had to do the next day it was just a connection that ive never felt. BUT him telling me that he really likes me, tells me that he might just feel that way too. Its bad karma to mess with something or someone that has already been claimed, I wouldnt want someone to take away someone I spent years with. But what do i do? Something to probably not think about too much since there isnt much a girl like me can do. Having been single for only a few months, I cant stop the boy train....ehh. On the other spectrum there is a boy who totally deserves to have someone special with him being a musician and single, but I cant seem to allow my self to jump. My friend layed it out pretty well about timing and that if the time was right then it would happen, but I keep telling myself then why would I jump for someone who has a girlfriend but not for the single one who would do anything...hmmm. I think getting away for a month will help to resolve that or at least I hope it will. I am working on finding a place at the moment to move into when I get back into town. I have the option of living by myself or living with a friend. Thats another big decision I have to think about, because roommates can get a bit sticky sometimes. Anyways I think that is all the rambling for now. Thanks for listening as always :) -M
Posted at 4:24 pm by macleanoviatt